Friday, June 3, 2011

It's All Water Under the...umm...Sink

   Here is a true story from my wacky childhood.  This one is from my high school years, so I was probably around 17 when this took place.
   We were living in our house on 37th Street in Warr Acres (which is surrounded by Oklahoma City and Bethany, but I think it's its own reality), when the kitchen sink decide to stop draining once.  The plunger thingy (you know, the thing that gets stuck on Sylvester's face when he's after Tweety?) wasn't doing much good, and running the garbage disposal didn't seem to help.
   My dad, who is a better jack-of-all-trades than I am (his name is Jack, which gives him a boost in the rankings) decided that since the sink is probably not new, we might as well take apart the pipes underneath and replace anything that's clogged and/or cruddy.
   Thinking ahead, he put a plastic dishpan under the pipes and started disconnecting them.  The trap was the clogged spot, and there was probably another piece or two that needed to be replaced, so off we went to the hardware store to find what we needed.  This was going to be a piece of cake, I thought.
   We got back with the right parts, which were the right length and everything.  It looked like this was going to be one of those rare moments when my dad and I didn't come away looking like Laurel and Hardy, or the Skipper and Gilligan.  Everything fit just right.  My dad started tightening the connections.
   Then came the time to test it.  My dad was face up on the floor in the cabinet under the sink to check for leaks.
   Dad:  "Okay, turn on the water."
   Me:  "Gotcha!"  I turned on the water, but not real hard.
   Dad:  "Is that all the water pressure we got?"
   Me:  "No, I just..."
   Dad:  "Give some more!"
   Me:  "Okay..."  I cranked it full blast.  Water cascaded into the sink and down the drain.
   Dad:  "Mrph blp bottn blorph."
   Me:  "What??"  He was under the sink and the water was full blast.  I had no idea what he was muttering.
   Dad:  "Mrph blp bottn blorph!  Ig dnngng muh!"
   Me:  "What??"  He was kicking his legs now, which looked funny.  Like he was trying to run.  So I turned the water off and repeated, "What?"
   Dad:  "I said, 'Turn the water off.  You're drowning me.'"  He came out from under the sink looking like a drowned rat. 
   Apparently, when I turned on the water full blast, one of the pipes wasn't tight enough and it popped off, sending water pouring into my dad's face.  Between the dishpan underneath his head and the pipes and water above, he didn't have much wiggle room.
   He tightened the connections again, and then crawled out from under before we turned the water on.  Success!  And, since this kind of thing happened a lot whenever we did handyman stuff, we had a good laugh.
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   I consider myself to be a jack-of-all-trades and a master of none, and part of it could be that maybe I just don't pay attention when I should.  Ya think?

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